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I was young when it all started for me, being a small family of 4 people (dad, mom, sister and me), we used to sleep on 1 single king size bed in our bedroom. we had a extra bedroom but this how it was been always. I had got admission in a military school in my 6th standard (story of that life will be in next parts). i had come home for my diwali vacations after 6 months in school, and as usual were sleeping with my family. I used to notice movements of my mom and dad, but didn’t had guts to look directly as to what was happening, sp i used to peep and look and see my father riding over my mom and my mom making moans, i didn’t understand what was happening, but i liked whatever it was.I had seen this before i went to school also but had not got this feeling of liking it, but it was different now, i was feeling different in my pants and loved sleeping on my chest rather than back. this kept happening every night and i was just more curious and just wanted to know and get out of that. Get it out. "It's like, how can I say it-- " Just say it in words you say to yourself."Right." He swallowed, looked down at the therapist's shoes. He wished he had chosen a female therapist, it might be easier to admit it to a woman. "I imagine . . . I'm having sex." He almost said "getting fucked"."I see," He looked away from James a moment, then back at him as he said, "Who do you imagine having sex with?" Nobody, really. It's like just a man having sex with me. Not anybody I know." A man. I see." The therapist looked at his shoe. "Do you imagine it as a homosexual encounter?" No, actually I don't. That's what's weird. It's more like I'm a woman doing it with a man. I'm a woman, or feel a woman." And it seems strange? Imagining you're a woman?" Yeah. It's not a gay thing, how I think about it. Definitely not gay. Afterwards I hate myself for doing it and I promise I'll stop, never do it again." "You feel guilty." Not exactly," James said, "I think, why do I do it, it's just that.
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